He said he disliked the name "Sara"
Because it was his grandmother's name. When he was only nine, she almost (although he claimed it was her intention) had him killed when she shoved him from the top of the stairs and just looked on as he was crashing down. He had not been present at his grandmother's funeral. Not that he wanted to be there. That was just how his grandmother wished it to be, so said his mother.
His mother had been oblivious to this enmity between him and his grandmother. He told me she had even been worse than the gradmother. She dressed him in rags, fed him with canned goods she had collected from welfare institutions, raised him in a house wherein the wall's paint chipped while she earned $80, 000.00 annually as a special education therapist. She even had a teeth implant that cost $7 000.00, while he never recalled the last time he visited a dentist, if he ever did at all.
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Yan. I finally did a sit-down for this. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't get why his grandmother would do this. Why? What does he remind her of? It's very unusual kase hindi na direct yung relationship. Usually, mothers have this kind of syndrome.
I've read A Child Called It when I was in high school. A friend of mine jokingly told me I should read it coz the kid and I have a similar problem- the mother. Those were the days when my relationship with my mom was at its worst. Not that it's great now. Anyway...ayun, parang ganyan kay Mord yung ginagawa nung mom. She'd let him sleep in the basement, give him raw food. Hit him. One time, she stabbed him. Stuff like that.
Tapos recently lang, I've been reading Caleb Carr's The Alienist. I didn't finish it. (Panget sya, flat characters, slow beginning and deus ex machina all over). So anyway...again, this entry reminded me of that book. It was set in NY, 20th century. There was a serial killer who strangles kid male prostitutes. He takes their eyes out and cuts their right hand. Yung background ng killer is, his mother was nasty to him. She always snapped at him. Didn't show any affection. Always criticized him. Hit him. Kaya sya naging psycho.
Anyway...I thought...maybe this difficult relationship is, if not the sole reason, then probably one of them which made him into what you said he is now...
I don't get why people can be this nasty to kids. Like, what ticks them? Doesn't it scare you that there is a possibility for each and everyone of us to be that twisted? It scares the hell out of me.
He never really spoke openly of his relationship with his mother and grandmother. There were times when he did pero hindi detailed. I noticed he only spoke of it everytime he's annoyed or when he's afraid that someone's going to leave him. Such situations yata trigger those childhood memories. I wanted to ask him about it pero mukhang ayaw nya pag-usapan. Minsan while we were talking about something else, he'd just start talking about his mother or grandmother. Yes, I also think he is what he is now because of what those people did to him. This is what I know: once, he mentioned that he was just an "accident," but he did not elaborate. So that got me thinking; it must be the main reason why his grandmother hated him. At this point ita-tagalog ko na lang to be safe hehe. Feeling ko yung mom nya, out of pity for the child at saka na rin siguro para harapin yung trouble that she's in, pinalaki na lang yung bata. Pero hindi ibig sabihin spoiled sa kanya, or kailangang well-fed or well taken care of. Then itong lola, hindi talaga matanggap. Kaya he always tells me, wala daw siyang ibang pupuntahan. Never daw sya babalik sa nanay nya sa brooklyn. Pumunta sya sa dad nya, who's a german, sa alaska. the guy accepted him, kaso nga hindi daw sila pwede tumira magkasama. I dunno why. Wala naman daw ibang family yung guy. Hindi lang daw ganun ka-yaman like his mom. Makes me more guilty of what I did to him :(Hay, as if Mord hasn't had enough, dumagdag pa ko :(
ReplyDeleteI knew it. He is German. Well, half. Napaisip talaga ako. Bakit Nunberg last name nya? Doesn't sound Jewish to me. I've been meaning to ask you kaso it never crossed my mind again.
ReplyDeleteWait. So ganto: mayaman yung mom nya. Yung dad nya steady lang. At hiwalay sila. Tapos love child sya. Tama ba pagka-gets ko sa story?
Alam mo, parehong-pareho sya dun sa serial killer na sinasabi ko. Unwanted din sya nung bata kasi ayaw na ng mother ng madaming anak kasi ayaw nya ng responsibility. Parang yung vanity nya eh na-oobstruct ng presence ng bata.
Anyway...kung wala sya sa nanay nya. At wala sya sa tatay nya, asan na kaya sya ngayon?
You shouldn't beat yourself up kase at that time, wala ka rin naman magagawa. Di naman napipilit ang commitment. Kung nung mga oras na yon, di ka pa talaga ready, wala rin. You wouldn't be able to help him rin.
Para kasi syang naghahanap ng savior. Ang hirap non.
Eto medyo twisted: naisip mo na ba gumawa ng ibang name na account tapos i-add sya sa fb?
Yep naisip ko din yun the first time I learned what his last name is. Tapos sya na din nagsabi na German yung dad nya. Yung story ng nanay at tatay nya medyo twisted. Yung lola at nanay din kasi nya, twisted. Well, what can you expect from people, especially yung mga Hudyo, who lived during the Nazi era. Ang alam ko mayaman yung mom nya cos he makes her support him. I dunno kung anong ibig nyang sabihin, basta ang sabi nya tine-terrorize nya nanay nya to give him money because he needs it, and she's obliged to do it anyway. And he was so deprived growing up, kaya now it's time for him to ask for what has not been given to him. Mayaman ang impression ko sa nanay nya cos mord is well-traveled, yung dorm nya ata pang upper-class students, he has macbook and desktop, he wanted to send me substantial amount of money, I asked, what for, sabi nya nothing.
ReplyDeleteAng alam ko nasa denver sya ngayon with a professor friend. that's how he gets by. with the help of friends from the academe. akala nya ganun din ako, maybe ayun ang hinahanap nya sakin. he often spoke to me about that friend. may asawa na and has a son.
naisip ko din yun rio kaso kahit nga sa YM di ko kayang gumamit ng ibang name then try chatting with him. Nasa buddies list ko pa din sya. I think I'm strong enough not to send a pm. Kaso everytime I see him online, I want to cry :( baka one of these days I'll try that twisted idea..
Wow...parang the world is just like one small neighborhood for him. Para syang gypsy. Kahit san na lang, kung san sya welcome...Hay...ganon talaga...kanya-kanyang destinies lang talaga siguro...
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